sample for futurology

[brandosaur]

stolen from the january tdm.

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[brandosaur]

[Diego's always had a knack for horses; the shittier the horse, the better it'd respond to him. Maybe animals truly have an ability for picking apart auras. Maybe they know they'll find a common thread in Diego.

He's not moving right up to the uniorns just because Dio's provided room. He's idle in thought, bearing a frown -- tense brows.]

They're not yours, I don't need your permission.

[And yet, because Dio's now telling him to, Diego's feeling reluctant. The unicorns are most definitely judging them.]

[repugnant]

[ lightly, ] No, of course not.

[ he waits patiently for him to move, arms crossing over his chest like a child. maybe they can smell the horse in this man and would react favourably. maybe one of them would crush him underfoot and gore him with the horn. there are so many myths involving unicorns it's hard to even say as to which ones would be real in this scenario.

like the unicorns, dio watches him with an imperial glare. in another world there'd be menacing sound effects going on at this point. ]

[brandosaur]

[Dio doesn't need those menacing sound effects; there's something about him that reeks of terribleness, but he has no reason to fling wild accusations any which way. He's only just arrived and immediately discovered: unicorns as well as a stunt double.

Even if things are palpably going tense over something as stupid as a dare, which is basically what it is at this point, he's not...prepared to stir the pot. He returns a stare, crosses his arms and inevitably moves back toward the barn's entrance, double-checking for anyone who ought to be...tending to these animals.

There's literally no one, though.]

[repugnant]

[ dio watches him keenly. now that it's turned into a dare, things are a lot more interesting, and it's less about entertaining the other guy than figuring out how things will end. anyway, he's got a full day ahead of him to make plans about rearranging his goals and the like; he can certainly spare a few minutes for this asshole who apparently dared to steal his face.

that one will be addressed later. dio knows that the real dio, which is him, wouldn't be so stupid as to touch animals that he currently can't even guarantee would answer to him at all times.

so he crosses his arms over his chest and taps his foot at the stable floor (dirty, disgusting, it smells - ) and he waits. ]

[brandosaur]

[If this is a test to see who the real Dio is, shitty Dio will probably win. His only inhibition is literally the fact that Dio's challenged him to touch these goddamn unicorns. His foot making ceaseless noise against the barn's floor -- it's louder in his brain, more annoying...

There's a small part of his brain that's suspicious of this guy running off and tattling on him, but that's the least of all concerns. It's merely something he can envision this douchebag doing. Hyperfocusing on his company won't spare him any favors, so he moves closer still to these creatures and lingers at the very edge of their stall, waiting to see if any would approach.

For the time being, they all seem curious, but none move in for anything. It might help if he had something edible to offer, but he's 100% sure he's got nothin'.]

[repugnant]

[ none of the unicorns were making any effort to approach him, which dio finds boring. maybe they can smell how pathetic he is and they've decided to stay clear. in that case dio can't even fault them.

it's when after a while of the other trying to cajole the horses that dio frowns and decides to expedite things by attempting to throw him into the pen. here, let him help. ]

[brandosaur]

[THAT'S SO FUCKING RUDE. HORSES LOVE HIM. IT'S JUST A...CLEAR INDICATOR THAT THEY'RE TOO TAME FOR HIM. It's the shitty ones. The shitty ones can't get enough.

On the other hand, he's happy to hang around all day and try to gently coax the animals over. They're favoring a far side of their pen, though. He's adamant, focused--]

What do you think you're doing-?!

[Cue a death grip on the stable's edge and a few backwards kicks. Like a horse. Frig off.]

[repugnant]

Helping. Which you are clearly in need of.

[ spoken as reasonably as he can manage given that he's attempting to kick him. this is a bit difficult since he has to take care not to get his boot in the face. ]

They won't come to you, so you'll just have to go to them.

[brandosaur]

[He's trying, at this point, to lowkey kick him in the head. It wouldn't be entirely unwarranted.

Also, there could be a myriad of reasons for the unicorns keeping themselves at bay. He's not so eager to find out why; he could certainly protect himself in a worst case scenario, but he'd rather not resort to such extreme measures if they could be so easily avoided ffs.]

I don't need your help!

[The afterlife sure is rough.]

[repugnant]

Why not? I'm offering it freely. You want to pet them, right?

[ listen to him, he is the voice of reason.

as he's attempting to fight and evade diego's kicks at the same time, the unicorn are certainly taking notice of them. most of them have stopped what they're doing to look at the two men outside the stables. ]

[brandosaur]

[This isn't how that works, this isn't how any of that works.

In the process of reaching back in an attempt to swat at him -- anywhere, be it his hands or his face, Diego more or less sets himself to be completely flipped onto the opposite side of the stall. Something about a solitary grip isn't enough to prevent him from landing headfirst (good thing he still has his helmet????) in a mostly-eaten pile of hay.

The landing still hurts, for some completely bizarre reason.

...He's just, going to, very slowly sit up, contemplating how to maim this guy all the while.]

[repugnant]

[ now that diego is actually in the pen, dio leans against the stable to watch him. if the unicorns don't rip him apart, that's gonna be a useful use of his energy. if he manages to convince them to become transport, well, that's even better. ]

Alright, let's see you work.